The Bunker: Of hardware and hormones

Time off

The Bunker is redeploying to the beach for a couple of weeks. We’ll be back, sunburned, rested, and ready, August 12.

THE LOW-INFO PENTAGON

And how to fix the F-35, too!

Back when the Pentagon was run by normal people, The Bunker spent hours sauntering along its lengthy corridors — badgering passers-by for sensitive information, just like Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth fears — looking for news. Every once in a while, a war would break out, which would keep us reporters scrambling for days (Grenada), weeks (Panama), months (Iraq War 1), years (Iraq War 2), or decades (Afghanistan). Who knows where Iran, which risks becoming another American “forever war,” will end up?

Now that Hegseth has all but booted real reporters from the Pentagon, the press has been forced to rely more on outside experts and self-inflicted Pentagon videos for newsworthy nuggets. Last week, to The Bunker’s surprise, the Pentagon gave us two scoops: one involving hardware, and the second involving hormones.

A STEALTH REPORT

“No news is good news!”

First, the Defense Department is so proud of its F-35 jet fighter — the costliest military program in the history of the known universe — that it has refused to approve the public release of an annual, congressionally mandated report on its performance. The Government Accountability Office said that the Pentagon told the watchdog agency that its entire F-35 report is “Controlled Unclassified Information” (CUI) and therefore can’t be released. It marks the first time in two decades of yearly F-35 reports “that any of our acquisition reviews has been determined to contain CUI information,” the GAO’s Jon Ludwigson told Bloomberg’s Tony Cappacio. The only thing released was the report’s title: “F-35 Joint Strike Fighter: Update on Production and Modernization Efforts.” (Some lawmakers — you know, the same knaves who refuse to debate whether or not to declare war — will get a peek.)

Lockheed’s single-engine F-35 can be crammed with bombs, missiles, sensors and an electronic warfare suite. That supposedly makes it the Swiss army knife of warplanes for three U.S. military services — the Air Force, the Navy, and the Marines.

The Pentagon’s refusal to make the report public is a stunning affront to the nation’s citizens footing the bill for this $2 trillion program. There have been reams of reports over the years charting just how poorly the warplane’s development, deployment, and operation have been managed. How much worse could this new report be than those (including at least 56 from the GAO) already published? It’s a safe bet that this latest report into the transparency-eluding F-35 offers new details on the plane’s lousy readiness rates, its soaring costs, its inadequate cooling capability, and its long-delayed upgrade. That last (known) snafu is forcing the U.S. military to take delivery of F-35s without their vital main radar, the vacuum filled instead with inert ballast to maintain each plane’s center of gravity while in flight.

Old-timers recall when the Pentagon would mark stuff it didn’t want made public with a “For Official Use Only” designation. It was pretty slipshod, and it seemed to be used willy-nilly without much rhyme or reason. Then, trying to bring some rigor to the process, the government began labeling (PDF) a growing torrent of documents “Controlled Unclassified Information.” The Pentagon said, “the CUI program eliminates the use of ad hoc agency-specific policies, procedures, and markings, and creates a single, uniform framework for identifying and marking CUI.”

But take note of the “U” in the middle of “CUI”: it stands for unclassified. CUI isn’t secret, or any of those other formal terms for classified data. It’s closer to “bottom secret,” a convenient label that the Pentagon and its contractors can paste on pretty much anything they want to keep hidden. And it seems like it’s more rampant than the old “For Official Use Only” mark (like being stamped on a government phone book, for example). The Pentagon’s inspector general recently complained about the Defense Department’s sloppy use of the CUI designation.

Hegseth seems determined to clamp down on any news he can’t control. Unfortunately, when it comes to the F-35, he’s either embracing the “Tinkerbell effect” — that merely believing the F-35 is top-notch makes it so — or the Cowardly Lion’s “I do believe in spooks, I do, I do, I do” to ward off scary reporters whose job it is to report on the airplane.

Beyond the F-35, Hegseth is asking Congress for expanded powers to keep CUI from release if sought under the federal Freedom of Information Act. “Controlled unclassified information is already very problematic because it’s not very carefully defined and it’s used to protect lots of different kinds of information,” Greg Williams, director of the Center for Defense Information here at the Project On Government Oversight, told CBS News July 15. When Williams worked as a contractor, the general guidance he got was “when in doubt, mark it as CUI.”

It’s all in keeping with the Pentagon’s growing news desert, the evaporation of regularly scheduled press briefings (then again, who would attend?) and the silence of those actually running the U.S. war against Iran. Hegseth, President Trump, Air Force General Dan Caine, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and Navy Admiral Brad Cooper, who as chief of U.S. Central Command is its overall commander, are pretty much the only ones (barely) discussing a war this nation is now waging in our name. When The Bunker was covering earlier U.S. conflicts, the Pentagon would routinely dispatch subordinate commanders to brief the press on how things were going. Granted, details were often sketchy, but no secrets were spilled. It was just the way a representative democracy waged war. But that is no longer the case.

A PRESCRIPTION FOR DISASTER

“Dr. Hegseth will see you now”

Last week’s second scoop was Hegseth’s bizarre announcement that U.S. troops over 30 will now receive mandatory annual testosterone-level screening (PDF) as part of their regular physical assessments. While low scorers may be urged to take supplemental testosterone, it won’t be required. A 2020 study of U.S. special forces highlighted the issue, which boils down to war is hell. This push for testosterone replacement therapy seems to be in keeping with the Trump administration’s mantra of maximum masculinity, reflecting a growing trend among young American men.

Apparently, Hegseth believes the U.S. lost the wars in Vietnam and Afghanistan because our troops lacked sufficient amounts of the he-man hormone. And he’s damn sure that’s not going to happen on his watch in Iran. “We must constantly look for new ways to optimize your performance, your resilience and your long-term health,” Hegseth told the troops. Reuters reported that five of six men’s health experts interviewed said they were “puzzled” by Hegseth’s action. “It may lead to unnecessary — or even harmful — treatment,” they told the news agency. With this Pentagon’s typical clarity, the New York Times reported the screening will be “including women,” while the Associated Press said “it appears he is talking about only testing men.”

This isn’t Hegseth’s first foray into the medical field. He has fought to reinstate service personnel booted from the military for refusing to take the COVID vaccine. And he ended the annual flu vaccination requirement in April, only to see it resumed for some troops after a flu outbreak sickened Air Force recruits in Texas.

A FIGHTER FIX?

Making the F-35 fly right

Hegseth launched his higher-testosterone initiative in a 2.5-minute video labeled “The High-T Department of War.” Given the other news last week, perhaps he should order similar treatment for the F-35. After all, the Pentagon launched the program 32 years ago, easily clearing Hegseth’s 30-year T-testing bar for humans. At that age, it’s a safe bet the F-35’s aluminum is stiffening, its carbon fiber is fraying, its software is short-circuiting, and its electronics are frying. A tactical testosterone tincture will surely boost the plane’s speed, stealthiness, payload, range, and readiness. And probably lower its price, to boot.

But a word of caution from the Cleveland Clinic. Testosterone replacement therapy “doesn’t fix or cure the underlying cause of low testosterone,” the respected medical center reports. “In fact, it will cause your testicles to stop working.”

Whoops. In that case, probably better to reserve it just for the troops.

WHAT WE’RE READING

Here’s what has caught The Bunker’s eye recently

Thanks for stopping by The Bunker this week. Once again, we’re away until August 12. In the meantime, consider forwarding this on to chums and/or chumps so they can subscribe here.